Saturday, July 3, 2010

Pelosi's Truth

  Nancy Pelosi has once again proved why she can be considered one of the greatest speakers of the house of representatives. Her latest rant that espouses unemployment  payments are the greatest stimulus to our economy, and is the fastest way to create jobs is as enlightening as her cosmetically altered face. All that skin tightening has  smoothed out her gray matter to the point of sensitivity and awareness. I was unaware that facial wrinkle reduction smoothed out brain tissue also. What a relief to know she's third in line to be president of the United States? The hits just keep on coming. We all remember her famous statement that, "the health care bill needed to be passed so we could find out what was in it." Brilliant! And then once it passed she gushed that now artist and all those beautiful people that give meaning to our drab lives could quite their day jobs because health care was now an entitlement. They could sit in their loft apartments and splatter paint, fondle clay, or just contemplate their navels for hours on end. 

Come to think of it, maybe that is the definition of modern liberalism. Progressive thought insures the individual their true meaning in life. Wow what a concept. I like this. No need for responsibility or caring for your family. Job, what job? Who needs a job when there is meaning to be found? Keep those checks coming for another couple years, until they find themselves. After all they are stimulating the economy, that is of course unless they are stimulating themselves to internet porn. But why shouldn't they be payed for that? Remember government workers in the Securities and Exchange Commission were paid for surfing porn while Wall Street was running a muck. They also were trying to find themselves, and many of them did behind their office doors and cubicles. They just didn't understand they didn't have to have a job to do it. They could have stayed home and collected a check and found themselves. Maybe they'd find meaning for life from a soap opera or daytime game show. How about we take our welfare credit cards and visit a casino. That's all the rage in California.

Now that artists can stay home and find their destiny because of a health care entitlement and the unemployed will receive limitless checks because of their economic stimulation and welfare recipients can discover themselves from electronic slots, it's time Ms. Pelosi introduced a few new entitlements. How about we allow them all a credit for a Sunsetter retractable awning for summer time patio sitting, and big screen TVs for those cold winter afternoons. Maybe we should give them all high speed internet for you know what. If it's good enough for government workers why shouldn't stay at homes have it. I've got it. This would be perfect. Home delivery for medical marijuana! Ms. Pelosi's district is the obvious world capital for medical marijuana outlets. But why should someone who is busy stimulating the economy, among other things, and trying to find themselves be troubled with shopping their own cannabis.

I know what you're thinking. Who's going to pay for all this? That's an easy one. Those capitalists that don't care  because they're too busy greedily pursuing material wealth. They never stop. Hours and hours spent on what used to be the American dream. They're so busy that they don't know the dream has changed. It's no longer about financial independence and securing your family's future. It's about finding yourself. It's about doing what feels good. It's not about responsibility. It's about responding to someone elses ability. I know they're a shrinking minority, but that's OK. I'm sure they won't mind working a little harder and a little longer, because they really don't have a soul. The more we take from them, the harder they will work, because they're selfish and really only care about themselves. Some will even work two or three jobs to get their own businesses off the ground. Maybe that's what the speaker meant when she said unemployment compensation was the fastest way to create jobs.
Read: Sarah's Character my other blog......Con-Men 4 Palin

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