Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Musings Of The Messiah

 It's tough being cool and aloof when the world is falling around you. The Midwestern bus tour isn't going well. The proletariat is coming dressed as Tea Party members questioning my civility. I wish I hadn't made that speech in Tucson. Who was it again that suggested I choose Biden? Ah, just a few more days and I can fly away to Martha's Vineyard once again. I hope the people don't notice that Blue Heron farm is near the town of Chilmark, which the Vineyard Gazzette said was the most expensive small town in all of America. Oh well, if they do, they must understand that I am the president of the United states. After all, I and I alone stopped this country from going into a great depression, and the problems we're having now are due to circumstances beyond my control. Japanese tsunamis, and the Arab spring to name a few. I hope they don't blame the tsunami on me. After all I did say  I would cause the oceans to recede.

Where is Biden when I need him? If I could sneak out with him without Michelle knowing, we could go  score another cheeseburger. Everyone would think we're regular folks. Maybe I won't ask for Dijon mustard on my burger this time. Maybe while I'm at the Vineyard, I'll fly in that pizza chef again for an impromptu pizza party. All America loves pizza, and no one will notice the taxpayer cost. You know what, for a 1.1 million dollar bus this thing has terrible air conditioning. You know that Rick Perry is becoming a thorn in my side. But, when he accused Bernanke of treason he opened the door for me to scold him on civility. Thank God for that Tucson speech.

Maybe it's time I began formulating this new program for job growth. I promised I'd reveal it after Labor Day. Damn, Gallop has my approval at 39% again. Right after the senate convenes hearings on S&P, maybe we should investigate Gallop. I wish my bus was more colorful like Sarah Palin's, but no way will I have We The People painted on the side. I hope no one notices that over 50 servicemen have been killed in Afghanistan already this month. If they do, they may blame my hasty pull out of troops beginning last month. I do sincerely regret the death of many Seal Team 6 members in that chopper attack. After all, they did get my poll numbers up after the Bin Laden raid. It's tough being commander in chief. You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. How did W. prosecute the Iraq war without being political? It has to be that he wasn't up for reelection when he implemented the surge and whipped their butts.

The Vineyard can come none to soon. I'll play some hoops and hit the links. I think I'm going to play my far left slice from now on. It would be foolish to change now. When I get back from the Vineyard, I'm going to have another Wednesday night White House party. The Chef will serve up $100 a pound imported Japanese steak for appetizers and vodka martinis again. We'll have Stevie Wonder and Sir Paul McCartney entertain us while we contemplate how we can tax the rich and blame them for the huge deficits we're running. Thank God for Warren Buffet. We'll retool our attack and demonize the Tea party as obstructionists, who hinder our economic plan for job creation.  Damn, I wish I hadn't made that Tucson speech.

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